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Resolutions for 2011

Now that I’ve depressed myself thoroughly with yesterday’s post about my many, many regrets for the old year, I will depress myself to the point of no return by resolving to do better in 2011 in all these important ways:

Resolutions for 2011

1. I will eat less and exercise more. Although perhaps I should finish the Häagen Dazs in the freezer first. It’s a sin to waste food.

2. I will go to confession more often… (Gluttony… Häagen Dazs… Burp… Ah…)

3. I will not let fear rule my life. Especially fear of confession.

4. I will spend less time playing video games. Yeah, right.

5. I will figure out what I want to do when I grow up and then do it. Is there a certificate program for fishmonger?

6. I will no longer confuse yes with no. And that means both what I say and what I think other people are saying.

7. I will love more, pray more, read more, write more… Ha! You’re waiting for a punch line, aren’t you? Don’t hold your breath.

8. I will get that chip out of my head… What chip?

And your New Year’s Resolution for 2011, Dear Reader? That’s easy. You’re going to buy Frankenstein’s Monster. Today. Now shoo…shoo!

And have an amazing 2011!

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